October 20, 2006

Personal Update

I'm amazed by the number of folks who are subscribing to this blog. I don't get nearly the traffic as some blogs, but it is fun knowing someone is out there listening! And, tonight I'd need an ear. My mom is coming home tomorrow. She broke her hip on September 7th. Yesterday she was back in the ER with more fluid on her lungs and difficulty breathing. I know more crises are on the horizon and the anxiety wears me down. I am not a noble person. I am not one of those folks who can bear any burden with a smile. I do not believe that all things happen for a reason or that God only sends us as much as we can bear or all those other well meaning sayings. I freely admit that I am mostly overwhelmed. My skin hurts from sitting in a chair next to my mom's bed watching her heart monitor, wondering how many trips to the ER she can handle; how many I can handle. I think of the folks with sick children and I cannot imagine what they are going through, and I swear I try and count my blessings, of which I have many. Speaking of which, I take solace in my dear husband who is so kind and tries so hard to ease my worries. And I take solace in my great kid. In the midst of the craziness, Andy had no way to get to school -- his normal ride couldn't make it, and the back up was stuck in traffic. Did he go back inside the house and play video games? No, he walked an hour to school. I'm so proud of him. So, he forgot he had a French test today and probably didn't do well. At least he said "he was sick for 2 hours about it." That's showing that he cares (unless he's pulling his Eddie Haskell trick, for which he is the master!!). They're the greatest husband and son a girl could have. And, I take solace in my stamper friends -- most of whom I've never met. Today "redapron" -- Liz -- sent another set of cards to my mom and to me. I've never met this woman. I've never spoken with her. Yet, after an endless day in the hospital I came home to a beautiful card. I'll post it when I have more time. What is it about stampers? Most are so kind. My favorite stamper -- Debbie Olsen -- whose work I love (see Thinking Inking on my blog list) takes the time to read my blog and comment on my little cards. This means more than it probably should!! LOL All right. It is almost midnight and tomorrow is a big day. I'm not sure my mom is strong enough to be home and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to have her home. Deep breath. Good night! Stay safe.

14 comments:

  1. Joan,
    You don't know how often I think of you and pray for you and your mom.
    I have admired you since I first "met" you on SCS.
    Please know that we're here for you and you are not alone.
    {{{Hugs}}} to you! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Friends,
    Renee V.

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  2. sending ((((hugs)))) your way Joan! I hope your mom does well and that you are given peace and strength in caring for her!! you're in my thoughts!!

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  3. Hi Joan,

    I am so sorry to hear that your Mom is not doing well. I am sure that this is a vey hard time for you. I will continue to pray for your Mom and for you. Hang in there.

    Mary

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  4. Oh, Joan...

    Lots and LOTS of big, supportive (((hugs))). You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. :)

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  5. Seek comfort in knowing your not alone. Keeping you in thought and prayers as you go through such a tumultuous time in your life. Your much stronger than you think, just look at how far you've come down this rocky road. Blessings to you!

    Hugs of strength,
    Anne

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  6. Joan, so sorry to hear about your mom. I will be thinking of you and hoping you find the stregth (we all know you have) in caring for her. Hang in there,
    Robin

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  7. Joan - big hugs for you! You know I am a phone call away if you need me - tell Andy to call me next time he needs to get to school.

    I'll be thinking of you all.

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  8. Don't know if you'll get this message, but I had to add to the others. I pray for your mom and think good thoughts for you often.

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  9. Joan,

    HUGS to you! You are a special woman and you are admired. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and I am hoping for strength and comfort for you.

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  10. Big hugz to you and your family. I watched my grandmother go through this with my grandfather, and I can't imagine having to do it with my mother, as you are. I only hope I can do it with the grace that you are when and if the time comes. Know that you have a support group all of the country - we're here for you, my friend!

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  11. Joan, I so agree with your comments on burdens. You are brave to put them out there.
    I'm hoping for the best for family.
    KathyR

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  12. Hi Joan!

    Just wanted to send a cyber hug and let you know - I know how you feel. My Mom has been in poor health several years now. Earlier this year she lost the sight in one eye, and is currently in a nursing/rehab center due to back problems, and is supposed to be home next weekend. Some days the stress and constant pressure to do everything really wear you out.

    Despite having two younger sisters, and older half-sibs, it feels like everything falls on my shoulders and, like you, I'm really not that noble or strong. Take some comfort that you have your son and husband to lean on from time to time. (((hugs)))

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  13. Joan, you are stronger than I am; but I don't think I've ever been tested like you are. Perhaps we are all more capable than we think. I so enjoy your blog; it's one of the first I chck each day because you change it every day. Perhaps this is your outlet and we are all enriched by it. Take care.

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  14. Joan,

    This is a difficult and trying time for you, know that those who read your blog (like myself) feel how heavy your load is to bear, and that we wonder could we go through what you are going through and survive. We are vouyers in the joys and struggles of your life.
    You have so much strength.....
    We all lift you and your family up in our thoughts and prayers.
    Lisa

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