Can't sleep, which is a frequent thing with me. As soon as I'm about to nod off, my brain goes into overdrive. So, I thought I'd share a bit of my day. My Mom is slowly dying. Her kidneys are only functioning at about 20 - 25% and her heart is weak. Like most mother/daughters, we have a complex relationship, one that is probably more intense than most, since she lives with us and my childhood was "interesting". Today, however, was a very sweet day, one that I know I'm going to treasure when I look back at this very difficult time. The woman who takes care of my Mom was sick so I had to miss work and be with my Mom. This is not a good thing, but my boss (thank you!) is so very understanding. My Mom was having a good day and Tuesday is "club" day -- the "55 Plus Club" to be exact, so off we went. It is a bit of a big deal, with the gigantic walker, her frailty, my anxiety that she will fall, but we did it! And, yippee it was pot luck lunch day. Lots of food from my childhood. I had totally forgotten about some of that food! My Mom couldn't eat any of it (sodium/potassium issues), but I think she was secretly thrilled that I was there. Since I'm 54, I'd say the average age of the folks there was 80. Without counting me, 85 easy! We started with a Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance. I definitely felt like I was with the "Greatest Generation" -- the Depression/World War II survivors. It was touching -- women named Alice and Betty and Helen and June. Women who worked hard and are now sick but enjoying life as much as they can. Everyone had on elastic waist pants, except the 2 men, who were waited on like kings. I kept thinking about my husband. Will we all outlive our hubbies??? The conversation consisted of: who died who is in the hospital what a great daughter I am for taking good care of my Mom (I took a brief bow...) bingo Speaking of bingo, I won $6!! (Should I invest it in a Bella?) A little grumbling from the regulars. Nothing like a young hussy, and a lawyer at that, to take away one of the prizes. I was good. I did not yell at Emma, who talked throughout bingo. They'd call B 11 for bingo, and she'd shout "11 minus 7" or if they called 0 66, she'd yell Route 66. I swear I wanted to bop her, but she's got lung cancer so I decided not to take her out! If I knew for sure that my Mom had "x" number of months I'd take a leave of absence from work. But, it's complicated. She's happier with Hilda taking care of her, and we can't afford Hilda unless I work. Plus, there's my son's tuition and college and our retirement and my husband's parents.... And, she has an amazingly strong will to live and I suspect she may be playing bingo for quite some time! So the juggling continues. Just slap two slices of Wonder Bread on me -- we may not be the Greatest Generation, but we are definitely the Sandwich Generation!