Totally Unfair

After a week off from my day job, I went back to work today. After 2 hours sleep. And I attended a 3 hour meeting during which I think I gave coherent, accurate, legal advice. At least I think I did. Yes, I am superwoman. I Lawyer, I Mom, I Wife, I Daughter, I Stamp -- not necessarily in that order, but you get it. I'll tell you why this is unfair. My goal in life is and always has been to be unemployed. Going to law school was THE FIRST BIG MISTAKE. The SECOND BIG MISTAKE was passing the bar. Then folks kept hiring me. And promoting me. I kept waiting for someone to knock on the door and explain that I had really flunked the bar and it was all one big misunderstanding. I've always felt in over my head. Then, after years of real litigation (as my high school friend the doctor said to me "you don't actually go to court do you?, to which I replied, "you don't actually touch patients do you?") I snagged my honey pie husband. Another lawyer. And nice. And cute. Surely this meant children and the mysterious world of the stay at home mom. My goal has always been to be the stay at home mom. (When I left the Department of Justice, they gave me KNITTING needles as a going away present!! and wrote on my cake "Good Luck Donna Reed.") (I'm not kidding.) Alas, I married Mr. "I wouldn't think of insulting you by expecting you to stay at home and give up being a lawyer so I'll be your total partner and do more than my share around the house and help raise our son and work 60 hours a week." And so he did and so he does. Of course my fantasy of how a Mom who is home actually spends her day is well, a fantasy. In my mind, the house is clean, but not too clean, no one is sick, dinner is cooking, and my son is always happy. Oh, and I've spent a few hours volunteering at his school and at the homeless shelter, and he has listened to my suggestions on how to improve his study habits. I am a Saint Stay at Home Mom. Luckily, I've been able to work part time, but even with that wonderful schedule, there were those awful days when our son needed to go to the doctor for some minor but important illness, and my husband and I would gently try and convince each other of the importance of our day ("I've got a Supreme Court argument." But, dear, I'm saving someone on death row.", only to be upped by the "I'm meeting with the President." -- all lies, but you get the point.) My Mom once said that the "problem" with my generation was that it had too many choices. I used to think she was right, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I got it just right. If you are a stay at home Mom, you go honey!! I'm not too proud to admit how jealous I am. And if you are a working outside the home Mom, you go honey too. Do what you need to do to keep YOUR family functioning. I am no closer to understanding any of this than I was when I got those knitting needles -- oh, except I still can't knit. I took up stamping instead!